Hey brother!
I really liked your last post. Like, it almost made me cry kind of liked it. I'm very glad that Grace has you in her life. Also, I'm sure at some point you will have a little family of your own, so I'm going to answer your question in the form of a top 5 surprises you can look forward to!
5. Poop.
Okay, obviously babies poop. Obviously you'll have to clean it up. However, if you're like me, there will be things about poop that you have no idea about yet. For example, did you know that newborns poop is basically tar for 3 days? I had no idea. As a bonus surprise, at some point you may be alone at home with your baby, and have to make the decision between having a private poop and having a baby that isn't screaming. No judgement either way.
4. Products
You will be shocked and amazed by how many baby products there are. I'm not just talking about the simple things like diapers, wipes, and toys. I'm talking about the swings, the chairs, the diaper genies, the multiple kinds of cloth diaper options, the bumbos, the multiple kinds of strollers and baby carriers that you didn't know were a thing but you now realize are a whole world of their own. You'll feel completely in over your head, and don't let that feeling get to you because...
3. You're in completely over your head.
The days before you have your first you'll be sitting there with the mother of your soon to be child saying "I think we're ready" you'll have bought all the necessary products, prepared a room for the baby, done a prenatal class, read a bunch of stuff online about never giving your baby screen time, sugar, gluten, or foods that start with the letter "H" and you'll feel prepared. You'll go to the hospital, the birth part will be insane, and then you'll have a baby! And then you'll feel like the hard part is over, and now you'll get to enjoy your baby. Then a couple days later, the doctors and nurses will tell you it's time to go home. You'll be so excited! Then you'll get in the car, start driving, and realize that you have no idea what you're doing. Suddenly you're in charge of this thing? What do you do when it cries? How do you change it? What's a swaddle again? HOW DO YOU GET IT TO SLEEP? You'll keep asking yourself when the adults are coming, and then you'll realize that you are the adult. You kind of just have to figure it out for yourself. All those blogs and books you read, the advice your parents gave, they don't matter anymore. It's just you, your partner, and your baby. And you kind of just have to figure out how to make it work for the three of you. It will be hard, it will be scary, and it will be...
2. Exhausting.
Obviously I knew people were tired when they had a newborn. I had no idea how bad it was. Newborns wake up every 2-3 hours. That's not counting from when they went to sleep, that's counting from the last time they woke up. So if they fell asleep at midnight, they might be up again at 2am. Oh and also, it may have taken you an hour to get them to sleep, because as discussed in the last section, you have no idea what you're doing. Obviously in a two parent home there are ways to share the load, but that doesn't always go as well as you might hope. Personally I couldn't ever sleep if Sam was with one of the kids. It's hard to explain just how tired I found myself at night. I would wake up and not know where I was, and not be able to separate different portions of my life. It was kind of terrifying. Truthfully, I think the first 3 months of being a parent may be among the hardest of most peoples lives, but it's okay because...
1. They grow
Boy do kids ever grow. It's really hard to describe what it's like watching your kid, who at one point couldn't even lift their own head, run around the corner with a big smile on their face. Soon this child will start developing a personality, preferences, and even opinions. At one point they were a blank slate. You thought you were the one writing on it, and then slowly over time they start taking over and writing on it for themselves. People talk about first words and first steps a lot, but for me the best was first laughs. That's their first real big show of personality, and it's unforgettable. I've only experienced the first three years of parenting, but I already feel like I've been through 6 or 7 distinct stages of parenting, each different than the last, and each special in its own way. The hardest part is that once you leave one you'll never get back. And yes, I'm happy my children don't wake up every 2 hours anymore, but they'll also never fall asleep on my chest again, never nap with me on the couch again, never grab my thumb in that adorable way newborns do again. That's sad. Like I said, that first three months is extremely hard, harder than I knew was possible, and I honestly don't know if I want to do it again, but I'd never skip over it. It's incredibly rewarding. It's precious. It's a time with each kid that you'll never experience again. The most surprising part of being a dad is how incredibly hard it is, and how it is so worth it.
So Mark, I guess what I want to ask you is, what in your life has been hard and totally worth it?
