Invisible Audiences

Hey Brother!

I'm glad you liked that advice so much. I think a poster is a great idea, but we can do better than a calming meadow.

Thoughts? I think it's pretty great. Something that all of our regular readers (Hi Mom and Dad!) will really enjoy.

I've been thinking a lot about your question this week, and here's what I came up with.

The thing that comes to mind when I think of doing things because of what other people thought are all the things I've never actually done. Especially when I was a kid. I was so scared of other people that I had two friends all the way through elementary school. I never branched out. I never talked to kids I didn't know or tried things I wasn't comfortable with. I had two zones, my tiny comfort zone, and the danger zone. I avoided the danger zone at all costs.

The best example of this I can think of was after I quit soccer. I want to say I was around 9 years old. I quit because I wasn't very good, and my team wasn't very good. In reality I probably wasn't that bad, just not aggressive enough to get anything done. Anyway, I remember dad saying that it was fine if I didn't want to do soccer, but I should do something. So we signed up for something I was actually interested in, a computer class.

I remember being excited for this class, until we got there. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. I was terrified. I don't remember exactly what I was scared of, but I think it was that everyone else would be better than me. So I just didn't go. I wish I'd gone. Seems like something I would've enjoyed. But the point is, there's a lot of things I could've done, but I didn't. I'm trying to be better now, to venture out of my comfort zone, but it's still a challenge.

The funny thing is that as much as I can wish I would've done things differently when I was younger, I still turned out fine and I wouldn't want to change anything about my life now. So maybe what I would tell my younger self is "Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be fine. This stuff isn't a big deal".

Which is kind of the same thing I find myself trying to tell my students. Teenagers are so worried about how they appear to others. They're always concerned about their invisible audiences. Adults don't help either. They're always trying to scare them into doing their best in school. Like, if you don't do well in grade 9, you won't get to do the grade 10 courses you want and then you won't ever get to do the college program you want and then your life is pretty much over. The message I want them to understand is that they should just do their best, find some things they enjoy, and not worry so much.

I know that's what I'd tell my younger self. Don't worry so much. Everyone's not really watching. And even if they are, who cares?

What would you tell your younger self if you had the chance?