Love, Destiny, The Meaning of Life, and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.

Hey Brother!

I don't believe in love at first sight. It just doesn't make sense to me. Love isn't really something you discover, it's something you build. Like, when I first met the woman I love, we weren't in love right away. I didn't even know her. But after we hung out for a while we realized we liked each other. So we started something together. We built a relationship on the foundation of trust, openness, honesty, attraction, and a fair bit of silliness, and then once it'd been building that for a while it just became love. There was no dramatic RomCom moment where fate took control of things and we confessed our love in a climactic moment. It was just a moment where we both felt comfortable calling it what it was. I mean, it was romantic and sweet and all that, but it wasn't the way the movies make it feel.

So what does this have to do with your question? Well you asked me about how people find their passions, and I think people often think it looks the same way love looks in movies. Like one day you'll just pick up a guitar, fall in love with music, and live the rest of your life as a rock star. We drive this into peoples heads right from the beginning. Constantly asking kids what they want to be when they grow up. Like they should pick something they're good at when they're 10 and be really good at it and stick with it forever. The truth is that I know very few people who knew what they wanted to do after high school before they graduated. I know way more people who thought one thing and realized they were totally wrong about it. More importantly, when it really comes down to it, how many people actually get to work their dream job? Most people end up working jobs that are necessary for our society, pay most of their bills, and are tolerable.

Also, what if your passion isn't something you'll ever be paid for? We don't always do a great job of supporting kids here either. How many times has a kid picked up a fun hobby only to have an adult ask them how they're ever going to make a living off that? Who cares? If your job and your passion aren't the same then it's great to still have access to both.

So how do people find their passions? Well... I don't think there's a simple answer. Some people are born knowing them. Some people are raised into them. Others just kind of discover them. I honestly wish I had a better answer for you, but if I'm being honest I don't really feel like I know mine. I mean, obviously I'm passionate about my family, but who isn't? I enjoy working with younger people. I also really like fiction and the impact it can have on society. Does that mean I'm passionate about being an English teacher? I don't really know. I love my job, but there are aspects of it I'm good at and aspects I need to work on and passion just seems like a crazy strong word to me.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that your passion isn't some hollywood style destiny. It's something you have to build, discover, and define for yourself. Because using other people's standards doesn't tell you anything. Maybe that's not a satisfying answer. Maybe it would be nice to have a neat answer that wraps up any loose ends. I don't really think life has those kinds of answers. I think with most things in life you just have to find your own answers.

The other day one of my students handed me a blank piece of paper and told me it was a creative writing project on procrastination. I handed it back and told him it was a project on the meaning of life. "Oh life has no meaning?" He asked. "No," I said "It's a blank slate and it's up to you to fill it."

Yes. I'm that corny. But I also kind of believe it. Also, I mostly said it to make him laugh. But still, it's true.

At the end of the day the meaning of life is like the perfect grilled cheese sandwich. Only you can decide what that means for you.

But this leaves me wondering, are there any universal truths? Anything grounded in objective truth? How do we know what they are? What do you think?